"In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity is the vital thing."-Oscar Wilde
Well i am not aiming for literary heights( or lows!!!)so while everything is nose-diving, the "noses" stay up in air( we know what we are doing!!!, investors don't panic) everyone seems to be getting cool about their businesses( they just "freezed" the expenditure on toiletries!) maybe that's why they are on a "sticky" wicket. The long hailed innovation is finally coming to a "loo" near you, watch this space for more "action". This season what "R" the things to watch out
1. Recession- The Hydra seems to be growing heads even as "heads" continue to roll, so while the chaiwala on the campus gate talks about figthing recession(chai piyo, mast jiyo!!), we have finally found a topic on which our kids would watch movies, read books on while some of us would write case studies as thesis!( and finally blame someone)
2. Recruiters- to sum it lets paint the campuses with posters of "Wanted" and "Missing" with the names of campus WITCHes( The "SWITCH" just broke)who sent their pickup trucks in Placements Cell( excellent opportunities, a place to grow, watch your career taking shape!!!) the pied piper would march out with the entire batches dancing to the tune.
3. RSS- Yeah, valentine is round the corner and atleast RSS is recruiting( and watch your career "take off")for the busy week beginning this feb, a "blockbuster" about to be released at archies/hallmark/park/barista around you......
4. Results- So even as students grapple with the never ending abbrevations ( CAT, XAT, MAT, FAT, JAT ;-), we gear for the result of economy, with the financial year coming to an end, lets hope there are no more "Raju" in bag.......
5. Ramalinga Raju- Watch the man direct the "The Investigation Symphony" and hope their are serious "notes" that are played out............
6. Red- The colour of the season, with everything "bleeding" watch the dolls on ramp and "aisle" wear the color with poise and hear some "Thankore, Bal" talk how recession inspires them to design even more vague designs that are ridiculously expensive...........( is Bhansali planning a sequel to Black, try imagining Kangana Ranaut squealing "red" as stocks plummet")
7. Reality- Lets bring us down to face the stark truths, and work together to tide these times rather than sitting and praying god to spare our ass while the neighbour gets f*****. Tough times require extra ordinary actions by level heads, so while some will emerge as heroes, some would fade out, keep moving guys, try answering to conscience inside you than playing with an extra K in your name.......... and miracles just don't just happen in Hudson, until there are able hands to steer.........
May you come out smiling..........
There goes an old song in bollywood where Amitabh Bachhan tells how when elders asked him to stand on his feet and do something, he stands up and croons a song that is an evergreen party number... wish we could make the same in real life( what is that anyway??? what we see around us or what we are being shown), we always look at life through the prism of results, a prism made from the glass of our desires, it seems strange at times( to me, hell yes!!!) as maybe situations and decisions taken by us could be a better parameter to judge the portrait of life that is being painted, pixel by pixel, but we are a hell of a kind, why should we take the blame upon ourselves or worse share the load for our failures and even successes between us humans, it has to be some unknown, desired( or undesired, damn i got a flu before my JEE paper, my LUCK was bad) we look to blame everything but us, too weak to take things upon us, well i may be grossly ignorant of the divine interplay ( how can he, a screwed up individual comment on others!!!)but decide for yourself or ponder upon in moments of blank whether your conscious or spontaneous decisions were right.
Decisions afterall is what we use to pass a verdict upon others,( surely in those endless historical analysis where they dissect why xyz pissed in the west!!) and courses of great people have remained pivoted around a couple of decisions that have changed the course of things (me writing this blog for instance, damn did i "decide" to to be cheeky here) yet i have wondered (yeah my cranbox is wobbling, what do you expect when you are rotting in your hostel in vacations)watching a coin being tossed in a match the crowd going fancy when the favorites win that toss i often look at the heads and tails, anti-parallel? orthogonal? complementary? substitutes? what is a coin, how easily does it arrive to a decision agreeable to all, no qualms no cribbing, but what if the coin were to stand ( sholay anyone???) what does it "stand" for, what lies in the "middle", maybe coins may never suffer from such oddity( loads of physics would have to work together to have this happen) but the coin of life is alas deformed, and physics were of little relevance, how to "decide" weren't mere heads and tails but a gamut of near heads, almost tails, some demand neither to "stand" up and it is strange how when i look around me i find myself torn between two ends, each weighing its "end" to make the coin more biased, the coins are alas flipped everyday everywhere and yet there is little we can do take Isreal( jews right to live) and Palestine( but wasnt it there land) two ends of a coin, Atheism( whom to look for answers) or Religion( what is religion giving us?), Capitalism( recession??) or Socialism( screwed up systems), Empowerment(just the right amount of control) and Independence( go ahead, Laissez-Faire), onemanship or multipartyship ( look at our state of affairs), peaceful resentment, fighting with the system within the framework or an armed aggression to a quasi system, arranged marriage( statistics which our parents gleefully point to)to love marriage( what happens if it just........vanishes)
Well there is no questions as versus here but to as to what we "decide" for our lives as "right" and "wrong" , as it is based upon what we have seen around us, what we "perceive" what we "believe" ( or made to)yet decisions in whatever form we take (we or I),(congress or BJP),( baritsa or CCD), (heads or tails)the consequence is on us on others maybe just like the butterfly effect( the flap of wings of butterfly can cause a tornado somewhere) but i wonder and i wonder the region in the middle of them, hoping that it weren't a no man's land, a region to exist, a place to escape, a reason to hide........ i wish the coin to stand so that i could have that little extra.....a little more to ponder upon in the mindless life i live......... I wish the coin would stand on its feet and break into the cacophony........... how i wish it could happen...........................
Well the stage is set, the auditorium has been finalized( a far cry from the Vintage auditorium of my dear college). The invitations are being sent out in frenzy, the sponsors are being hunted, the item dancers being preyed for........ hold ur breath THE CRACKATOPIA awards...... well its awards season and every damn channel is selling a trophy( the nominess are ........, the gala night, watch the stars comin on my damn idiotbox)so these awards are not (ooooooo... OSCARS) or the damn (........ RAZZIES) but a proper ceremonial awards on the internet with a lot of paparazzi( oh! i am lovin it) So the hunt has begun for the sponsors( a sponsor who identifies that his brand can go down with me!!!!)and the best part is ITEM SONGS( aah now comes my part)so the list is fairly simple, we have asked Britney to do a Womanizer encore( please keep children at home), for the sake of good old times Janet Jackson has agreed to arrange a wardrobe for the show. Then we have the usual platoon of singers who will croon all through the night, So the TEMPTATIONS be FORGETTABLE and let us concentrate on more SERIOUS things, oki the statute must be of a certain purpose(let it be souvenir of the past year ah! the FAMOUS SHOE size 10 black leather!!! and encrust it with swaroski crystals (oye taste shaste ke liye)and the anchor finally RAAKHI SAAWANT ( well i wanted her to be wacked by a swaroski shoe by someone from media who would get tired of her crushed cat face and she will go cryin on all TV channles== publicity of my awards). So let us start the glamour ceremony.............
The nite begins with
The Lost In Confusion Award : Abhishek Bachhan in Drona( dude ever seen a jackass on horse).
The What the Hell Was That Award : Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi ( i better get my DNA tattoed so that my goddamn wife recognizes me, or better get SRK a Lenovo Laptop please.........)
The Who Let The Dogs Out Award : Meryll Lynch( fella we still don't know how long will it rain cats and dogs )
The WMD of the year : Mamta Bannerjee( no comments here some names speak enough)
The Cook of The Year : Ramalinga Raaju ( "IT" was being "cooked" for the past three years).
The Director of The Year: LeT ( they directed the blockbuster of the year from Karachi, people in this country produce shit like
The IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER award : Dr Zaid Hamid ( i still love his zionist part and the babe who was the senator).(Dr Amar Singh was a close second)
The Phrase of The Year : NON-STATE ACTORS( the left parties of India have formed a unioun to protect their rights and will go on indefinite strike of the year).
The TURN COAT of the year: Well all you PAKIs ( Zardari, Gilani, Sookhani, Marjaani and whatever deserve apiece of the jewel in black).
The FAUX PAS of the Year : Uma Bharti( for releasing a CD on Vote for Cash Scam, a total hoax as her character)
The Scandal Of The Year : Is Raghu a Gay????( watch him oogling the cuts of Sufi Malhotra in Mumbai Auditions)
The MOVIE of the Year : DESHDROHI............( u deserve it fella even the ban in Maharshtra cudnt sell your tickets)
The INDIAN IDLE of the year : Stockbroker( what where you doin when the stocks were in free fall)
The CRYOVERSPILLEDMILK award: FORD( we want $25b to make cars we never wanted to sell and thought no one would buy)
The Bakra of the Year : Indian Intelligence( every time a blast occurs these underpaid, undertrained people are blamed for the skeletons in cupboard).
The MADAM TUSSUAD Statue of the Year:Shivraj Patil( for striking a picture perfect statute after every blast, hum high command se baat karke kuch faisla lenge)
and Finally The Biggest of em all
THE CRACKATOPIA AWARD calling upon SRK,AK,SK to announce the award( no fights please gentlemen) and the award goes to.........................
These suckers only for fighting over a goddamn fiefdom called bollywood........ have a great new year............
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